Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
