quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
