So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my being single is dangerous.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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