I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
