So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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