My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
