brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
