he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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