oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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