can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
