sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
