Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
