We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
