Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
