You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
