Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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