and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
