well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
