Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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