Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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