I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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