honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
