i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ketchup is God's man juice
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
