i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
