So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
