Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
