dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
