Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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