are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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