Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
