physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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