I could have mohawked her pubes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
