is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
