i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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