what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
