it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
