my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
