After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
