your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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