dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
