soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
