Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
