I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Still dying that you shit outside
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
