I hate your face
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
