lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
