And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
