I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
