A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is wine microwaveable?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
