He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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