There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
